Measurably Ineffective
Today I’m introducing a new, extremely measurable form of advertising that’s sure to catch fire around the country. I call it the “swift kick in the groin.” Our salesmen run up to customers in the street, yell our slogan, and then kick them in the groin. If the customer presses charges, we know we’re making an impact.
Here’s what I think: Metrics are trying to destroy advertising with their gosh-darn holy grail promises of career indemnity. And it’s breeding an industry of cowards, who’d rather cover their behinds than cover their sales quotas.
So instead of time-tested advertising techniques that have worked for the past 60 years, companies are running to embrace a host of shaky, digital solutions. Again, not because they’re more effective. Because they’re easier to measure.
Am I the only one who sees the absurdity of this? Should we cease the space program simply because it’s hard to quantify the value of interstellar exploration in terms of EBITDA?
Data is a means to an end.
It’s not an end in itself. Never was, never will be. Not to mention that it’s the most easily manipulated substance on the planet.
So let’s evaluate tools on their actual merits, not on how easily they can populate impressive-looking charts.
I think we know all this, instinctively. Sometimes we just need a swift kick in the groin.
